Wife Alert

Wife Caution

Have you ever made the big mistake of calling your wife fat?
I mean, not directly fat but even something like "let's go exercising."
Not direct but it is just like saying you are fat.
My wife doesn't get mad that often but one time I said something indirect and she took it very hard.
Yup, sofa for me. I did kind of like sleeping on the sofa while watching TV. But the cold shoulder from her was killer. Luckily she doesn't hold a grudge, it only lasted one week. (Just kidding, one night only.)

But here is a sign for you dummies like me.
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Identity Theft

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Dirty Diapers

Diaper Caution

I am very lucky to be married and blessed with a son.
He is a little over a year old.
Being the cutest thing in this world, there are some things that I have to deal with.

Dirty Diapers!
When he only drank breast milk, the smell wasn't that bad.
He would go about 5 times a day during that time.

Now that he is only eating meals just like us, OH man!!
The smell is killers. Luckily he only goes about once or twice a day now.
The smell totally caught me off guard.

So just to let you new papas know, it gets worse by the days!
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Where's Waldo

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Life Lesson #2

Nerd Caution

Be nice to nerd.
Chances are you'll be working for one.

Great advice but I have a better solution.
Have nerdy friends.

Having nerdy friends are great. One thing is that they are very helpful.
Another thing is that it helps you to stay drug free.
One downfall is that you won't be popular in school.
Now which path would you take if you were to go back to High school?

I don't regret not having nerdy friends but being older now, I shouldn't have been soo judgmental about people.
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Life Lesson #1

Life Caution 1

Here is a life lesson from the riches guy on the planet, Bill Gates.

This is really true don't you think?
I'm not trying to preach or anything but I think that it is unfair so that you can learn from it and become a better person. And when something fair comes, you will feel more joy from it.
It is like, if everything goes the way you want then you can't really feel happiness because you didn't go through hardship.
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Stink Breath

stink breath
Have you ever talked to someone and they had stink breath?
I'm not talking about the garlic kind but really, the kind that makes you want to barf.
What would you do? Do you tell them?
Here are what some people say on
Yahoo Answer.

Do you have bad breath? You can know if the person you are talking to backs off or slight touches their nose.

What you need to do:
1. Brush your teeth at least twice a day.
2. Go see the dentist.
3. Use a tongue scrapper.
4. Look at the sign above.
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Cyclist

Bicyclist Caution Sign

There are a lot of cyclist in Hawaii. I'm not talking about those cruisers or little boys riding their bikes. I'm talking about those people on the highway with their tights and egg helmets. It is like there is a Tour De France in Hawaii every day.
I really don't like these bike riders. I would speed by them to pass them and then they would pass me at the traffic light. One time I passed the same cyclist 5 times back and forward. I really wish they stay off the road.
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Cockroach

Cockroach

Okay, how many of you got chills just now looking at the photo?

At times, we do get one or two roaches crawling around in our house.
And guess who gets to squash them?? For some reason it is never my wife.
I guess it is one of those husband gotta do it kinda thing.
I admit that it is pretty gross and one of the worst chores that I have.

Actually I would rather clean the bathroom then to kill one of those roaches.
But I do it since my wife doesn't want to.

One time when we had a get together, a roach decided to join us also. Now I wasn't the only guy at the party, but nobody wanted to kill it. It actually flew across the room where the guys were lounging. You should have heard of these manly-man scream their heads out. And guess what, my wife killed the roach right after that. Hmmm...
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Senior Driver

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Chatting Caution

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Drink Responsibly

Alcohol Caution Sign
Did you ever notice the warning signs on alcohol beverages that says "Drink Responsibly"? 
What so fun about drinking when you have to "drink responsibly"?
How do you do that?  The only way is to don't drink or have a few sip.
What is fun about that?
That is why you have friends to take you home and take care of you right?
One time I had a friend who drank too much and was passed out taking a crap at a restaurant.  Lucky he didn't lock his door.  We had to pull his pants up without wiping and took him home.  
Now thats what you call drink responsibly right?
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Cannibalism

Cannibalism Caution Sign

"Blowjob is cannibalism." Yes, these are the wise words that came from a guy I knew back from high school. I don't remember how we got into this discussion but it was an interesting one. I don't think I have to explain why he was saying this right?
Anyways, I just found out that he came out of the closet recently. Go figures. Anyways, here is a sign to tribute him.
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Girls Fart

Farting Caution Sign

My recent post seems to be kind of gross in a way but you guys like these right?
Today, I have a sign for those of you who were shocked when you heard your girlfriend fart for the first time.
I remember the first time, this was way back then when I thought mom and sisters are the only females that farted.
My girlfriend at the time accidentally farted while watching a movie together at home. Of course I just laughed it off with her, but in my head everything was short circuiting. The shock that I had to deal with. I was so naive it crushed my heart at the time.

My brother told me that one time he farted silently by his "at the time" girlfriend and the girlfriend barfed from the smell. Wow! Another caution sign to make.
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Jesus Christ!

Jesus Who?

Disclaimer: Before anyone starts flaming me for this, just to let you know, I don't have a grudge against Christians or any other religion.

Did you ever had a experience where some religious dude comes up to you and asks you, "Do you believe in Jesus Christ?"
And when you answer, "no" politely the first thing they tell you is, "You will go to hell."
Then they try to convert you. I just ignore them and go along my way.

I wonder how many people actually converted to Christianity from these kinds of confrontation?
Anyway, I made a caution sign for people who are afraid of these religious freaks.
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Peeing in the Shower

Pee Shower

The other day I was having a conversation with a bunch of my friends when a discussion on men peeing in the shower came up. Honestly, majority of us "Men" did pee in the shower before. I don't know about you, but as soon as you start showering you just want to pee. On a positive note, you save precious water from not flushing the toilet and just letting it drain with the shower water. Of course you got to make sure you do this in the beginning so that all the shampoo and soap can wash the smell away.

But for all the ladies who didn't know, here is a caution sign for you.
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Obama Fever

Obama Sign 1

Obama Sign 2

Yes, it is our president. How popular is President Obama?
Why is he so popular? Beats me but hey, everyone is Obama crazy.
Here are some signs for these people.
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Fast Food

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In Prison

Prison caution sign

Caution sign at prison??

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Wet Floor

Wet floor caution sign

The most common one. Only if this sign was there, he wouldn't have been ashamed of himself.

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